After watching The Staircase, it was only natural that the algorithm would point me to Death of the Pastor’s Wife – yet another true crime documentary about a possibly murdered wife, an extramarital affair, and a creepy husband.
Mica Miller is the wife of pastor John-Paul Miller. At the time of her death, she was separated from her abusive and cheating husband. After filing for divorce, she is horribly harassed and possibly driven to suicide, although questions remain about the circumstances of her death.
The Netflix series is short – just three episodes, and it was fascinating to see the early life of Mica – going from a laughing, happy teen in love with her first boyfriend and husband, devout and pious, and heavily involved in the church.
Her transition from god-fearing, devoted wife to someone having an affair with her pastor (and boss – she worked for him at the church and babysat his kids with his wife, ick!) is very abrupt, and even though it’s a documentary and needs to stick close to the truth, there really is very little information about how or why this sudden turnaround happens. The age gap between John-Paul and Mica, and the fact that he knew and was close to her from when she was a child, indicate that some grooming did happen.
This statement from his first wife is so disturbing to hear.
Mica did not have a close relationship with her mother, and to some degree, I took her under my wing and an older daughter. I taught her to drive, took her to get her driver’s license, allowed her to care for our children, shared family meal times together in our home.
Grooming or not, it’s hard to understand just how the young Mica (only 20 years old at this time) could have accepted such kindness from his wife while betraying her trust at the same time.
Whatever the background, 2 years in, their affair is discovered, and suddenly, there are two divorces on the cards, and Mica and John-Paul are gearing up for a second go at marital bliss with each other.
Only for about 6 more years, though. They separated in 2023 with allegations of domestic abuse and infidelity (she accused him) and mental instability (he accused her). The abuse allegations are extremely disturbing, and so are his sermons that he preached during this period. I think the sermons are the most shocking part of the entire documentary, and all of us just watched in shock while he ranted on and on about how women should be serving their husbands.
Coming from a fairly patriarchal country, even I was shocked at how misogynistic his sermons were, and was so surprised that women and men sat listening to his ever more disturbing sermons (most of which don’t seem to have any connection to the Bible’s teachings), without any sort of complaint or protest!
The documentary ends with two suicides – Mica’s and the husband of the woman he was having an affair with (Suzie Skinner). To me, two suicides back-to-back looked extremely fishy, and I am surprised there wasn’t too much investigation by the police at the time.
Thankfully, the case starts to go viral, and the FBI steps in. That didn’t stop him from marrying his third wife, Suzie Skinner. Justice seems to be delayed, but hopefully, the mills of God grind extremely small 🤞. One good thing with all the scrutiny from the media is a new law – Mica’s law that criminalizes coercive control and adds psychological, emotional, and financial abuse to the state’s definition of domestic violence.
Hopefully, that helps other victims in similar situations.
Highly recommend this show – three intense episodes that really highlight the dangers of grooming and abuse.
